It's christmas morning at our house. I jump out of bed and dart back and forth to each of my sisters rooms, "are you awake?", "Lets go downstairs". The hallway is dark as I stop abruptly at the top of the stairs. We run down the stairs and see twinkling lights on the christmas tree and hear christmas carols playing on a CD. I stop by the door and see a plate with a few cookie crumbs and a crumpled up napkin. As I go over to the tree, there are neatly wrapped presents with shiny ribbons. Several of them say "to ashley". I grab a box and gently tear the colorful paper so the plain white box is revealed. Then I shift the lid to and fro to loosen it. As I lift the lid off the box I peek inside, I hear the soft rustling of tissues paper as I peel it back to see a pair of gray suede boots. I can smell the new leather scent as I put them on my feet.
This paragraph uses a narrative to make the reader feel like he's in the story. The description, adjectives and phrases help the reader see, hear, and feel the experience on christmas morning. Vivid imagery words like, "dart back forth", provide a sense of excitement and fast movement to allow the reader to feel more in the narrative. The words are also closely associated with christmas to help paint the picture for the reader.
Yes Ashley, I agree that you have master sensory detail. “As I lift the lid off the box I peek inside, I hear the soft rustling of tissues paper as I peel it back to see a pair of gray suede boots. I can smell the new leather scent as I put them on my feet.” This quote from your travel narrative really made me feel like I was there watching you. The description, adjectives and phrases definitely help the reader see, hear, and feel the experience on your Christmas morning. Words associated with Christmas do help the reader paint a vivid image in their head to help get the sense of the holidays.
ReplyDeleteYour certainly did achieve your purpose of imagery detail, especially by using words such as "shiny", "neatly", and "dart". These words really gave me a sense of what you were trying to make me feel as your reader. I could imagine myself being there with you on Christmas morning. I noticed that you added words to show sensory detail, to really give the filling of what time of year it was. I also noticed myself feeling the emotions that you were feeling, because of certain words you used such as "abruptly" and "run". These words made me feel your excitement, which makes your blog very enjoyable to read. In conclusion, your blog really taught me to use words to not only describe the setting, but describe my feelings or time of year as well.
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